What is a "Titty Catcher?"

Let me explain. I made one of these last week and a friend didn't believe me when I said it was a "Titty Catcher."

"A what? No. That's not what it is. Uh-huh, no," she said dramatically.

"Yes, it is! I've been calling it that since fourth grade," I said, assured of myself.

It's not like when I was in fourth grade calling this a "Titty Catcher" meant I was trying to be dirty. It just sounded catchy and to me, it's a good name for it. And it actually is the best name for it because it is so weird.

Another friend commented and said that they call it a "Fortune Teller." But my argument is that you didn't just use it to tell fortunes. You used it to pick out who has a crush on you, tell a dirty joke, pick a favorite color, etc. It wasn't just to see what was going to happen next in a fourth grader's world.

So, again, and I say this with pride and not prejudice - I will forever call it a "Titty Catcher." My children and my children's children will call it this and carry on the name forever in time. Thousands and thousands of years from now I will have the distinct priveledge of knowing that I am the reason this name has stuck around to cause confusion, uncomfortable laughter and debate.

Nuff' said.

5K Run

I have never been a runner. I know my svelte body would make you say, "What? No way! You look like you were built to be a runner!" Well, thank you for your kindness, but trust me... I am no runner.

The thought of running a mile flat out only comes to mind if I'm having a dream of being chased by zombies (is it weird that I have dreams ALL the time that the world is full of zombies) and only then I'd run until I could get to a rooftop and shoot the heck out of their flesh eating asses.

But I'm saying it here. I'd like to do a mile in 9 minutes. I know some of you think that's kind of slow, but hey! I am 5' 2" - I have to take more steps to go a mile than you do! Okay, that's the excuse I've made for myself all my life, which is probably why I have never been a runner to begin with. Alas, no more. I want to be able to run the 5K flat out. That's 3.1 miles - something I never, ever in my wildest dreams thought I would want to do.

The energy we felt when we were standing in the crowd, waiting for the clock to strike midnight was amazing. It was if I could feel everyone's hearts beating faster. A DJ was playing and the majority of the crowd was dancing and getting into it. Now, I am not a dancer either. But I like to dance. In fact it's something I get great joy out of. I'm a goofy dancer. I dance like no one is watching me, but I know they are which makes me dance more - bigger, wilder, funnier, and well, goofier. And while we waited I danced for approximately 42 minutes of the hour we had to wait.

I would not recommend this before running a 5K. By the time the race started, I was beat to the street! But excited and ready to challenge myself nonetheless.

And I did it. And it was great. And that last turn to the finish line was like there was a gospel choir singing out to me as I crossed the marker. They had flood lights and photographers and a crowd of onlookers and I just really can't wait to do it again.

Now - a full marathon? Yes, I think that's now on the bucket list. I will complete a full marathon before I die.

You heard it here...

Picture above is of Venus, my best friend and myself. This is before the race and after dancing 42 minutes. I think I look like I already ran it:)

Why Marinate is My Favorite Word...

Mar⋅i⋅nate - [mar-uh-neyt] - verb (used with object), -nat⋅ed, -nat⋅ing.
To steep (food) in a marinade.

Origin:
1635–45; prob. < It marinato, ptp. of marinare to pickle.

I like to use the word marinate to say I'm thinking deeply, relishing in, or trying to make a decision about something. This is not an original thought I came up with all by my lonesome. I heard it from the delightful, 2001 movie KISSING JESSICA STEIN. Helen, one of the lead characters uses it to tell Jessica that she doesn't have to make a decision just yet, she just has to "let it marinate for a while."

Ever since I heard it - "marinate" has been my favorite word. You know like at a dinner party where everyone has to come up with a question so those who don't know you very well can get to know you better -- that's my answer for what's your favorite word.

I like it because it's simple. Because it doesn't sound like a medical term or a sexually tranmitted disease or a place in Czechoslovakia.

And in the context I use it in, it doesn't make sense to people so they question it, which in a way makes me feel smart or clever... but I'm not people. It's in a movie for goodness sake.

Some ways you too can use the word marinate:
"Hey what are you doing tonight?"
"Oh, I don't know. I'm marinating on it. Let me get back to you."

"Have you finished that report?"
"No, it's still marinating in my brain."

"Do you want to have sex?"
"There is no way I'd let you marinate in me."

Okay that last one was pretty good, right?!

Now go marinate about the ones you care about and love. Think about them and make sure they know you are blessed to have them in your life.

Afterall, we won't marinate in this world for long.

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

Ferris Wheel

THE FERRIS WHEEL
by:
Rachel McClard

The Ferris Wheel stood out in the middle of an overgrown field with a picket fence holding it in and white dandelions interspersed through the sea of green. Thick, enboldened weeds reached up from the ground and took hold of it, mixing in with the rust, paint, wooden seats and metal hinges held together desperately by loose, old and tired bolts.

Originally called the Chicago Wheel, the first such ride was created for the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago. Later all structures like the Chicago Wheel would be called "Ferris Wheel's" based on the designer, George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr.

The Wheel in the abandoned farmland looks out on the world from atop a broken dream. It was created for fun, amusement, children to laugh, kisses to be made, hands to hold, hearts to lift and stomachs to fall. Now the majority of the ride can't even move, its wings held down and legs buried within the land of the forgotten. Three of the carts at the top have not been reached by the hungry leaves and vines that slowly make their way upwards, reaching for the sky - trying to defy all that is known of gravity.

Those three carts await the day when they will not be able to feel the wind on their face. When they will be paralyzed, the sun beams no longer warming their hearts.

But not today. Today the moon went down and the sun came up and they awoke to those rays bursting through their metal apendages like a beacon in the cold and mist filled night. A hope of what will come today. What will?

Today they will not look to tomorrow when they will no longer enjoy the sights, hear the birds, breathe freely.

Yesterday was good. Today better. Tomorrow is tomorrow and we know not what that will be.

They speak to each other freely.
Cart #1 "Enjoy it."
Cart #2 "Thank you. I will."
Cart #3 "The air is good up here."

THE END.