Really, KFC, Really?

I'm sorry KFC. You have gone too far.

Not only do you mutilate millions of chickens a year and serve a ghastly amount of mashed potatoes, corn, gravy and cheese in a bowl, but now you want everyone to eat a sandwich that is made of two pieces of chicken breast, bacon and cheese???

I think I've had enough of you!

I mean, I'm a vegetarian, so I'm not eating any of you at all, but the fact that I have to speed through your commercials for the new "Double Down" with the tag-line "So much chicken, there wasn't room for a bun" makes my stomach churn.

At 580 calories and 32 grams of fat (which I thought would actually be more than that) you are making stupid people eat stupid food-like substances!

I really hope this doesn't lead to pizza wrapped in pizza wrapped in bacon or french fries mashed into buns with a stick of butter in the middle and covered in gravy.

KFC... you disgust me (although I probably would've eaten one of these back in college pre-vegetarian and pre-food conscious Rachel)!

Grilled Cheese Festival 2010

Spent a great afternoon today at the Grilled Cheese Festival in downtown LA.

First, why is it when I take the metro, have clear directions on where to go when I get out at the correct stop, take said directions, but I end up walking around for an hour getting lost? EVERY TIME. I consider myself to have good navigational skills. But, whenever I go underground, then come back up to the sunlight - it's like I was spun around 100 times, blindfolded on a tire swing after 10 beers and being on a cruise ship for three weeks.

Second, who came up with this festival and where can I send a thank you card to?

Third, fried macaroni and cheese balls - I think you were specifically created to haunt my dreams. Note - they look bite-sized, but they are not. Take caution and eat them accordingly (at least 3 bites - enjoy, don't burn or choke yourself on them).

Fourth, I'm still mad that the beer garden had closed already.

Fifth, was not able to partake in the Grilled Cheese Truck naughtiness. Now following on twitter and soon a restraining order will be finding it's way to me. I will need a partner in crime to purchase a macaroni and grilled cheese sandwich with a shot of tomato soup on the side as it's hard to hand over cash from a distance of 100 yards away.

Sixth, pizza that was sold at grilled cheese festival - not worth $3 for your lame flat-bread folded over and lightly stuffed with cheap mozzarella and tomato paste. You fooled me by being next to the stand that was giving away delicious grilled cheese on cranberry toasted bread (for the naysayers - it was really good).

Seventh, the little, orange VW vans were the highlight of the event for one Emily Churchill. I'm imagining her staring longingly at the pictures she took right now. She probably wishes she had taken at least one more.

Eighth, not part of the festival but something that still stands out: Dear homeless dude that sat at the back of the metro, please do not pee on yourself before getting on the train. The entire section of our train shifted to the front when you arrived. I think I still smell you.

Ninth, can somebody please come up with a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich truck? I think that's something LA needs (okay, by "LA" I mean "Rachel" needs).

Tenth, is it sad I'm already looking forward to the 9th annual Grilled Cheese Festival? Hmmmm, maybe but we all have to live for something.

Bad poetry from an 8th grade Rachel - #3

This one is uniquely funny as it was actually a song I wrote. I had just convinced my dad to go with me to buy a guitar. We went to three or four pawn shops in Little Rock, AR, searching for the right electric guitar. I had already been taking lessons and had a cheap acoustic. But I guess I wanted to rock it out.

I had two friends that were going to be in a band with me. Unfortunately, they didn't play any instruments. I was going to teach them to play bass and piano. Yeeehhhh, that didn't really pan out. I'm not sure why I thought this would be a good song... but alas, it's coming from an 8th grader that needed to stick to writing short stories and poetry. Leave song writing to the professionals.

Gone Away
by 8th Grader
Rachel McClard

Boring sounds of yesterday, Gone away, they stray.
People are getting strange, they do things that range.
How can you stand still, Not doing anything?
Days. Days. Gone away.
Days. Days. Still away.
Times I knew, won't come back.
Hard to think, what they lacked.
Timing was bad, should have done it sooner.
But now I see, what's wrong with me.
Now I see, what was missing in me.
I see the light, and have begun to fight.
Days. Days. Gone away.
Days. Still away.
Days passing by.

Bad poetry from an 8th grade Rachel - #2

This one is kind of funny because the last couple months I have been having trouble sleeping. I have a lot of things on my mind with my personal life and trying to push myself to get as much stuff done as I can to fulfill my goals. And it's funny that just like 8th grade Rachel, these things caused me to have sleepless nights.

I distinctly remember pulling this napkin out of my sack lunch and grabbing a pen from my backpack and writing away... Strange the things that you keep in the files of your memory.

Sleepless Nights
by 8th Grader
Rachel McClard

Sleepless nights.
Walking away from me.
Don't know.
Don't know why.
From beginning.
To the end.
Can't sleep.
Weird dreams.
Rather funny though.
Why not?
Why not?
How come?
Don't understand it.
These sleepless nights.
Wakeup. All the time.
How come!
Why? This. Is not normal.
Why?
Why?
Sleepless nights -
Sleepless nights -
This happens. Every night.
How come?
Because I try to fight.
Those sleepless nights.
Sleepless nights.
Sleepless nights ________

Bad poetry from an 8th grade Rachel

I recently found some old poetry that I wrote and will be posting them here.

They were all written around the time of my parent's divorce. Wow, can really tell that things were going on in my little head that maybe were a little deep for an 8th grader to grasp. But then again, I've always felt a little older than I am - feel like I'm an old soul.

This was done for a class presentation. It's still on the three-ring yellow paper that I originally typed it on with a note on the bottom, "Re type on white paper for transparency!" I don't remember my teacher's name from this class, but she really encouraged me. I'm not sure if it was because she thought I was good or because she knew I needed support at the time. But she was nice and I liked that class a lot... in the end, some of the details don't matter as long as you took something good away from it.

Time
by 8th grader
Rachel McClard

Time goes by quicker and quicker
Life goes by like the blink of an eye
Before you know it you will be old and gray.

What will your life be like years from now?
What will you be when you grow older?

When I was little all I thought of was the day I was living.
Now I think about today, tomorrow, and yesterday.
I think of the life that I led and the memories of the past.

But what is a memory?
Is it the good things or the bad things that have happened to you?
Could it be both?

Memories come as time goes by.
As you grow older dim pictures of your childhood appear but they are
some-times smeared and faded.
And sometimes all you have are the words that were spoken to you in a
time which cannot come back.

All I want is the days of the past to come again.
I want my life to be better. No stress and fear of what tomorrow will bring.
Without the sadness of yesterday being gone and never coming back.

Time goes by quicker and quicker and soon another day today will be over,
and I'll be sad for another day of life passed and dreams in my life not
fulfilled.

Dreams are happy and some are sad.
Dreams are hopeful and dreams are happily created.
Dreams are thoughtful and they are hateful.

Time goes by quicker and quicker.