1) 34 pieces of Orbitz gum. This is the kind that's unwrapped in the big, 100 pack plastic bottle. Um, WTF. The top was on and closed, why was 1/3 of the bottle dumped out? I then opened the bottle to see how many pieces were left and it was as if the entire bottle had been open at one point and about 53 pieces had snuck their way back into the container. I ended up throwing it out in frustration. I'm sticking to the wrapped gum from now on.
2) Gum wrappers. In addition to the 34 loose pieces of gum floating around my purse, a handful of gum wrappers. Wow, I like gum.
3) A tampon, smashed and also out of its wrapper and the cotton was out of its container. But I couldn't find the wrapper. Weird. Don't think I'll be ramming that in my hoo-ha. Or should I keep it around in case I need a back up to my back up? Hmmm.
4) Two-inch by two-inch piece of glass. Hi, where the hell did that come from?
5) 3 folded and shoved together maps printed from Mapquest. One was dated April 12, 2008.
6) A half-dollar and 12 pennies. I love when my wallet opens on its own. Who gave me a 1/2 dollar?!
7) 2 halls cough drops (cherry). I could've used those earlier this week.
8) 8, plastic wrapped toothpicks. I am a toothpick whore.
9) A stack of receipts and bank withdrawal slips. Hehe, I used the word withdrawal.
10) 3 pens - none of which work. I'm a writer, but apparently don't know how to keep a writing utensil around me at all times. I do always keep a notebook with me, but alas, no pen to write with. This was especially difficult when I went to the bank a couple weeks ago and used the drive-up ATM - people were not happy with my as I proceeded to take out all my pens and try to make them work. I actually sucked on one. That's tragic.
Ok, so I'm not exaclty the neatest person in the world. But if I was trapped in an elevator, I could definitely chew the gum, string these items together and use it as a rope to scale down the elevator shaft.
Call me Mrs. McGyver.
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