Profiles...
From my last post you learned that I had recently re-joined that online dating site that I decided we would call "LotsofBait.com." Mostly what I have been thinking about the last few weeks (besides the depressing rant that I won't bore your with) has been about getting back up again, riding that next wave, taking the bull by the horns, and basically trying to stay positive.
But now I feel like I'm just beating a dead horse... Moving on is hard. It's not as easy as just saying, "Alright, today I'm better and going to be okay!" The exclamation point is added to solidify the idea that all is good. But in reality being dumped is something that does take a little while to get back your footing... and as I mentioned, it's hard when you see your former-flame on "LotsofBait.com" or Facebook or everywhere you look because you are reminded of them.
But, I'm trying to use some of this as an exercise in my ability to observe. I've known since I was very young that I observe first, make my statement later, and end up coming out better because of it.
And what I am observing now is that I think one could write a masters thesis on the online dating profile.
First, how in the world are you able to say all that you want to say in your own profile without coming off sounding like you think you are the greatest thing since Uggs, jeggings (jeans that fit you like leggings), or Susan Boyle?
You just can't. So you have to be short, sweet, to the point. Reading back my profile I come off as assured of myself but maybe a bit cocky and also not very original - my screen name is funnyru2, who doesn't want to laugh and have a good time? So even though my favorite thing to do is laugh and make people laugh, I had to edit, move that down the page a bit. Writing, it's all in the rewrite.
Second, a lot of people are either too sweet, too short or not at all to the point. I've read profiles that are 14 paragraphs long but completely contradicting. Another says LOL or misspells every other word. Or they only list "hiking" and "sushi" as their interests. Really? Those are the only things you like in this entire world? Huh, we would not get a long. There are some that just have one sentence that says "message me." Wow, how many hits do you get out of that? Several profiles try to reel you in with an amazing description of themselves but in the last sentence she says, "I have been married for 10 years and we are both looking to take our relationship to the next level." Gross.
Third, can people please put pictures of themselves that actually look like YOU? No HUGE sunglasses, no pictures taken at midnight with a disposable camera from 40 feet away, no hot main picture then 15 other pictures with you and your really hot friends that you can't tell which one is you, no pictures taken before 2007, nothing with you making out with someone else, no self-portraits you took while driving through x-y-z-city with your baby visible in the car-seat in back, no random shots of sunsets or the beach, or hotels, or hikes, or cars, or anything that doesn't show me YOU!!! URGH!
Fourth, please don't message me saying that you'd like to take me to your ranch in the middle of nowhere. Or that you want to come and visit me when you live half way around the country. I've received about 6 of these type messages - all from women 45+ years old. Maybe it's worked for you in the past but when I delete your message without responding, don't try again, M-kay?
I promise... Even though I'm dealing with a break-up, I still have standards.
Check back in a few weeks though, I might just be lonely enough to move to a ranch and take up milking cows and getting frisky in a barn with my 55 year old soul mate named 2ht2hndl55.
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