Pregnancy Portraits

There is a particular trend that's been gaining momentum ever since Demi Moore premiered her seven months pregnant belly on the cover of Vanity Fair in August of 1991 - the "Pregnancy Portrait." Annie Leibovitz shot the cover to make a statment on de-glitzing Hollywood and to show that even while pregnant, a sex symbol can still be sexy, provocative and alluring.

I came across a photographer's gallery today that has an entire section of "Pregnancy Portraits" - I'll give you her name if you ever need to get your bun in the oven photographed. Let's just say that most of the pictures just made me feel uncomfortable.

Recently I got into a conversation with a friend about how being pregnant really shouldn't be called a "miracle." I know that babies are wonderful and that it is special to be pregnant. But let's not call it a miracle. Miracles are supposed to be things that happen that aren't supposed to happen - like parting the red sea, turning water into wine or finding the image of Jesus in a watermelon seed. But babies are born everyday. Probably every minute of everyday. That doesn't sound too special too me. Miracle my ass!

So let's take a look at the three pictures at the top of the page and figure out why these couples thought getting a pregancy portrait was right for them.

#1 (Left) - I don't think this is the way you tell your family that your baby daddy is black. That's an awkward conversation just waiting to happen. But seriously - is this something you are going to put up in your foyer? This might have been the dudes idea as he seems to be looking at her breasts more than their intertwined fingers. He's probably just trying to get a peek since it's been awhile.

#2 (Middle) - "Honey, I have this old sword, a jean skirt with a front-zipper that I can strategically unzip to allow my entire pregant belly to show, a tube top and army boots. Let's go get a pregnancy portrait!" "Sure thing, dear. But I'm not going to smile. I don't want anyone to think I'm actually proud of that thing growing inside of you."

#3 (Right) - "You see, it's a miracle because when I make a heart symbol around my big pumpkin belly, a pink, magical heart glows around it!" Again, something you're going to put up in your house and make all your guests stare at uncomfortably? Imagine this kid when he/she turns fifteen and has a date over and old mom has this hanging in the living room. And is it just me or does grandpa in the back look like Will Ferrell with a bald cap on?

What do you think about pregnacy portraits? Should they be outlawed like clove cigarettes?